nodivorce.com

3 ways to keep your marriage healthy.

2008-11-29T03:03:00.000-08:00

Every marriage tends to loose the intense romance with which it started out. In order to keep your marriage fixed on a nodivorce path, the tips below are a must read.

1. Wrong Perception.

The perspective you choose when looking at the events in your marriage matters a lot. Couples loose thier bearing because of wrong perception about such an essential part of their live - marriage. Wrong perception could turn you into a victim of ignorance and you must pay for it. Ther is no excuse for ignorance. Set your perception right and your marriage will live. Don't try to fix your spouse when problem pops up. Remember,fixing your spouse will not fix the problem.

2. Dealing with conflict.

It is natural for couples to feel hurt, disappointed and discouraged during conflict.Conflict in itself is not wrong but it must be kept under control. Dealing with conflict can be a marvelous way to build intimacy and trust. It has been observed that one of the most constructive way to deal with conflict is silence. You can choose to remain silent during conflict and say what is on your mind later and more calmly when your spouse calms down. You must also learn to control your tongue if you want to keep conflict constructive so that it builds closeness rather than distance. Recognise that each of you own at least some part of the fault in any conflict and be ready to admit yours.

3. Unforgiveness.

Do you find yourself struggling to forgive your spouse? This may be as a result of not knowing the true nature of forgiveness. Forgiving does not mean absence of hurt emotion. Forgiveness is a decision that you have to make. You forgive when you delibrately decide not to let your spouse suffer for the suffering brought upon you by his or her action or inaction. This is the beginning of the process of healing the wounds. Failure to forgive prolongs the pain and will eventually hurt your marriage.

The lesson above do not come cheap. The cost is your determination and commitment to make your marriage work. These points among other will definitely keep your marriage on a nodivorce path.

If you think you benefitted from these tips Please stop by my website http://www.nodivorce.blogspot.com/ for more information on a premanent marriage. Don Starworth is a marriage councilor and relationship coach.

TIPS ON HOW TO STAY MARRIED WITH NO DIVORCE PLANS

2008-10-08T11:30:00.000-07:00

Here are some tips on the ways to stay married with no divorce plans. Marriage comes with responsibilties and some of the ways to remain commited to it are as follows:

1. Believe that marriage is a joyful relationship.

It is a wonderful thing to love someone who loves you in turn just as you are. Loving each other in a life long relationship is a gift from God. We all make mistakes even with best intentions. Sometimes we find ourselves floundering. If we are commited to our vows God can give us the ability to love and to forgive ourselves. Love and forgiveness are the pedestrals on which enduring marriades are built. Forgiveness breeds joyful relationships.

2. Have respect for each other.

Things are bound to go bad when two different personalities live together. The way forward is to accept yourselves as you are. Trying to change one to suit your fancy will always meet with a brick wall and this brings more frustration and strains the relationship the more. . You must respect each other's point of view. It is possible to agree to disagree on some important issues without allowing it end in disagreement..

3.Adopt an attitude of reconciliation when things go bad.

Don't bother about petty things and complaints because these are common things in marriages.

When things go bad be prepared to make more compromises, listen more and communicate more. Voice out your frustrations on the spot, don't keep it inside until the day it bursts like a volcano. Pent up feelings do more harm than good. Try ways you think will mend the thread again in your relationship to enable you always have a no divorce situation.

4.Let God be the source of your marriage.

God is the originator of marriage. You will not go very far if you keep Him away in your marriage. He knows your ability and will always give grace when called upon in times of trouble with sincerity of purpose. God loves a no divorce plan marriage because He hates divorce. If you put your troubles in His hands He will put peace in your heart.

5. Read books on Marraige.

No one knows everything. Read some good books on marriage so you learn from the experience of others because you may not live long enough to learn from your own mistakes. Ask question from those having successful married lives. They will be ever so happy to tell you the secret of thier success.

What is worth doing at all is worth doing well. There is a way to do anything. If you faithfully follow the tips above you will have no divorce plans in your heart and home. Marriage is intended to be blissful.

It you feel these tips are beneficial to you click on http://www.nodivorce.blogspot.com/ for more information on no divorce marriage.

How to build your marriage on no divorce foundation

2008-10-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

To enable you build your marriage on no divorce foundation, try to answer these questions.They are designed to set you thinking about your attitutes and expectations of marriage before you embark on the most exciting relationship on earth.

1.Are you running away?

Escape is the common reason why many people get married. As a youg person, you might see marriage as a way of leaving your strict parents. Or better still, as a reason to give up a job you hate.Perhaps you are getting old and you are affraid you may be left in the cold.

2.Have you considered your relationship with your to- be -inlaws?

Like it or not, in-laws can make or mare your marriage relationship. If he thinks his mum is a wonderful mother and you think she is a pain in the neck. You could be in for a rough ride. If you are already having problems with them even before marriage, chances are the problem will intensify once you get married.

3.Is money an issue?

Your financial priorities should be clear to each other before tying the knot. Different attitude to money can cause bitterness.You may have the habit of saving but your spouse likes to blow up everything. The items you consider luxury or necessities must be defined and understood before hand.

4.Are you ready for the battles ahead?

There are some unforseen events that you may not be able to prepare for now. But how you both tend to cope with problems now, will give you a fair idea of your crisis compatibility.Disagreements are common in marriage and should be settled before it degenerates into full blown fights.You must be ready to compromise. It is not a question of who won the bout.

5.Do you want the same thing?

You should sit down and spell out what you want from your marriage, I mean your expectations. Sadly, very few do. This is not because there are things to hid but because many take it for granted and assume things will sort themself out.But it rarely does. You must both head in the direction.

If you think these tips helped you ,then click on www.nodivorce.blogspot.com for more information on how to build your marriage on no divorce foundation.